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posted on Mar 07, 2010 at 8:09 AM A year ago today, I joined Shwitter to reach out & touch all my fans with my anaconda-like genitalia. You're welcome, America. |
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posted on Mar 03, 2010 at 11:25 AM Daily Powers Wisdom: When life gives you lemonades, bone one and get 'em pregnant. |
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posted on Mar 03, 2010 at 9:12 AM @JudahWorldChamp Sup, butthole? |
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posted on Feb 24, 2010 at 10:04 AM Watch this huge ass slideshow of my beautiful as shit mug & quit asking about Season 2. It'll happen eventually. http://bit.ly/b6fsrX |
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posted on Feb 14, 2010 at 12:46 PM Eating cherry cordials out of a stripper's butthole. Happy Valentine's, bitches. |
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posted on Jan 27, 2010 at 3:39 PM Back at ya, babe. RT @Jenshwa: http://twitpic.com/101m24 - Spent the day with @KFUCKINGP, damn he's so fine! Haha. |
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posted on Jan 26, 2010 at 11:33 AM Too bad Mavis Beacon didn't teach sex, too, 'cause that bitch was Aunt Jemima-fine. |
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posted on Jan 23, 2010 at 9:50 AM Doing free pap smears today on Miami Beach to raise money for Haiti. Let's get our troops home! |
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posted on Jan 21, 2010 at 9:46 AM Been driving around shitty Florida for 8 days & I think I can safely say Cougar Town is not a real fucking place. |
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posted on Jan 16, 2010 at 11:30 AM It's for Men, so, only kinda gay: http://twitpic.com/yd6t1 It's for Men, so, very gay: http://twitpic.com/yd6sx |
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posted on Jan 16, 2010 at 7:05 AM LET'S GET THE TROOPS OUT OF HAITI. |
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posted on Dec 31, 2009 at 10:06 AM If you didn't tap a broad of a different race this year, you fucking wasted 2009. |
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posted on Dec 25, 2009 at 1:21 PM Got "Baby, It's Cold Outside" on loop in the truck because, let's face it, it's a fucking Christmas song about date rape. |
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posted on Dec 21, 2009 at 10:11 AM Saw that fucking Blue Man Group documentary over the weekend. Do yourself a favor & don't eat shrooms before that shit. |
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posted on Dec 11, 2009 at 9:03 AM The fucking year's almost over but you pricks should be happy. 2010 is my comeback year on @HBO, bitch. |
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posted on Nov 26, 2009 at 9:05 AM This bird I'm stuffing is juicing just as much as the bird I stuffed last night. |
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posted on Nov 20, 2009 at 9:22 AM One fucking step closer to getting the Kenny Powers branded analingus dental dam approved by the FDA. |
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posted on Nov 18, 2009 at 8:34 AM The best advice I got my rookie year was to always live by the "Three P's." •Peyote •Pussy •Percocet |
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posted on Oct 31, 2009 at 9:21 AM If you're dressing up as yours truly, remember that most of you will have to stuff your crotch if you want people to "get it." |
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posted on Oct 09, 2009 at 10:58 AM Thanks, bitch. RT @82acb: An ode to KP.... http://twitpic.com/kupiz |
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